howdy.

So, yeah. It's been a while. 


During the summer I went to the Dominican Republic. Probably one of the most precious memories I will ever have. The people we were with were so amazing. They are in such horrible circumstances and yet they are so happy. They were awesome. We worked in an orphanage and a hospital while we were there. I definitely won't take for granted the sterile gauze and beds that I would get if I were taken to the emergency room. 


School has started for the fall. I really, realllly love my classes this semester. I'm taking anthropology, doctrines of the revelation, history to 1500 bce, art history from the renaissance, and english. I love my anthropology class and I really wish that I could be one. However, teaching college really intimidates me. 


I figured out that on May 6th I can turn in my papers. It seems really far away but I am pretty sure it will come up fast. Especially because almost all of my guy friends will be home by then! That really blows my mind. I can't believe it's been 2 years already. I still feel like a little kid kinda. this growing up stuff is hard. 


Football has started which has made this school year a whole lot easier. BYU opened last week against Ole Miss. We started off a little shaky but were able to pull out a 14-13 win. Utah state almost beat Auburn. That was an insane game. Unfortunately for Utah State, they didn't handle an onside kick as well as they would have hoped and Auburn got the ball back on the 20 yd line. Auburn won by a touchdown. The last time that an unrated team upset the bcs champ was in 1990 when BYU upset the reigning bcs champ. Part of me really wanted Utah State to win. 


John Beck and Dennis Pita are starters for their pro teams. John Beck is starting QB for the Washington Redskins and Dennis Pita is starting TE for the Baltimore Ravins. I think it's pretty cool. 


Well I must be off. 


TTFN

it's friday friday...

gotta get down it's friday.

okay I had to do it.

life is good right now. I wish that it would stop raining so that I could possibly ride my bike but, I am going to wish for rain when the summer comes I'm sure. But the rain definitely is making it hard to get out of bed or, to be quite frank, do anything with a smile.

I worked today from 2-7. let's just say I didn't sit down from 2-7. I was going going going till sammie came at 6. life's busy when you work at a cupcake shop. (also we now sell cookies and cakes.)(super super yummy.)

my wonderful friend michelle just got her mission call to serve in HONG KONG, CHINA!!! seriously so excited for her! It is weird that now my girl friends are turning 21 because that means I'll be turning 21 soon and lets just say, I'm not ready for that. (but actually I would love love love love to serve a mission. just sayin.)

I'm super super SUPER excited for this coming june. I get to go to the Dominican Republic with my sister allie for a humanitarian trip. we are going to be digging wells and updating orphanages. my dad says that he can't wait for us to get a glimpse of the "real world." I know that it is going to be an eye opener for sure. my eyes have already widened as I heard that we would have no air conditioning in the hottest part of the year. and when I heard that the normal spider was the size of your hand. and when I heard that you need to check your sheets before you get in them in case of spiders, scorpions, or other creepy crawlers. yuck yuck. but after I freaked a little bit I realized that these people do it every day so I can do it for 2 weeks. I'm excited!!

So I have this ridiculously lucky friend named witney and she is on a study-abroad in Italy right now. It seriously sounds like a dream come true to me. she isn't only living in one of the most beautiful countries in all of the world but she is learning all of this history!! it has seriously made me consider being an art history major. she also got to see snookie. how freaking awesome is that?

remember how I kept referring to my friend who was going through a hard time? it's okay if you don't. but, he is finally in Brazil! Yay! it took a while but he finally got his visa through. he has been really busy! well that is what he has been telling me, hopefully he isn't just saying that so he doesn't have to write me. kidding. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do that. But he seems to be doing great.

It is so crazy that all of my friends have been gone a year. well you get the point. and that some of them are almost done! it is seriously crazy that 2 years have gone by. I seriously still feel like I need to wake up at 6 to go to drill in the mornings. and I will attest that I am a super super senior. yes. I go to the football, basketball, and baseball games at springville high school. but I like to use the excuse of, but I like sports, to get me through. and personally, I don't see me cheering for any other team than the mighty red devils. (or the byu cougars.) *except for once when brady quinn played for notre dame. anywho, I can't believe that it has already been 2 years. life's moving by fast! it has definitely changed dramatically since graduation 2009.

also, did anyone else cry when rachel sang my man from funny girl about finn? I love finchel. so so much. (possibly because I think of myself as rachel and finn as well, finn.) okay i loved it. and I love funny girl. great movie. with a slightly terrible ending.

much love. ashley.

on my mind.

I hate that everything is so up in the air right now. Nothing is set in stone and that really makes me nervous. I want this phase of my life to be over so bad. I want to be in my career. I want to be out of this awkward dating phase and into a real relationship.

I guess the main things I hate right now are, school, being alone with myself, and having to make HUGE choices that will determine my happiness for the rest of my earthly life!

It makes me have serious anxiety.

I think the main reason I am sick of school right now is because, well mainly it's my math class. I have come to find this semester that I really, really, truly hate mathematics. I find it confusing, boring, and not useful for any student who is going to be teaching history for heavens sake. And the fact that I have to look at couples all cuddly in the halls and holding hand and all the girl's pretty wedding rings. I basically want to chuck my math book at their heads.

I hate being alone. I just remember in high school if I had to walk anywhere in the school I wanted someone to be with me. When I graduated I thought that everything would be the same, that I would see my friends everyday and that we wouldn't need to grow up for a while. Little did I know that wasn't the plan. As my friends started college we started to drift away. As we all got jobs we drifted further away and life went from seeing each other every day to trying to squeeze in lunch dates. Even in my third semester of college walking alone through the campus and hardly knowing anyone makes me so uncomfortable. Life didn't get any easier when my best friend got a boyfriend and I went from seeing her twice a week to not seeing her for weeks. The hardest part was hearing about all the fun she was having with her boyfriend while I was sitting at my house hanging out with my dad on a Saturday night.

I have definitely grown from being able to just focus on me and what I want and need in life. But it is absolutely one of the hardest things I've been through in my life.

Then there is the choices thing. I feel like I am pretty good at making decisions in life. I will pick a chick flick over a thriller any day. Chocolate or vanilla? Twist please. Even with my major picking History Education was pretty easy. It's just, the whole not set in stone thing. I want to know that it was the right decision to make. I want to see the finished picture and know that it was a masterpiece.

I'm definitely learning that putting all of my trust in Heavenly Father's hands is hard for me to do.

Recently I was talking to a friend about his situation in life. He wasn't where he was supposed to be and he was angry and confused why something like this would happen. He just wanted everything to be how it normally would be. As I reflected his situation the scripture D & C 122:7-9 came to mind. I just said to him, Heavenly Father knows what's best for us. He knows what we need to go through in life to become the best we can be. To become like him. As I said those words, I felt a pit in my stomach. I needed to take the advice I was giving him and give it to myself. It was at that moment I knew that Heavenly Father was aware of my situation and was just waiting for me to figure it out.

So, I'm not sure where I'm going with this now.

I just know that Heavenly Father knows each of us so well. What makes us happy, and ticked. Sad and calm. He can help out with anything. And that gives me such comfort.

Okay that was the shipell about what has been on my mind lately. I had to get it out.

"In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream it's like a million little stars spelling out your name. You gotta come on, come on say that we'll be together. Come on, come on little taste of Heaven." -Possibly my favorite tswift song right now. :]

Recently I've been listening to a lot of taylor swift.

As I'm going through my days I've found that tswift has written a song just about everything that I am feeling at that moment.

Every word that comes out of her mouth I couldn't have said more perfectly.

love, ashley.