really?

Is a new semester already upon us? Have I really been such a slacker at writing? The answer to both the former and the latter is, yes. 


This semester I am taking 5 classes plus institute. Sometimes I think that I am taking it easy, then I remember how much homework I am given.


I thought that taking geology 1010 was going to be a breeze unfortunately, my teacher thinks that we are all "adults" and that we can make our own reviews and learn by doing homework. weirdo. 


Missionary Prep looks promising. We are studying the Preach My Gospel manual and that should really help in the long run. 


My Divine in the Arts class looks like it is going to be way awesome. We are studying how the "Divine" is portrayed in different cultures and mediums. At the moment we are studying Hinduism and -side track warning- how they portray sexual acts on their temples because that is a way of signifying their sacredness whereas; in western culture we protect or cover up our sacred acts. They also believe in one "God" if you will, called Braman. Braman is manifested into different Gods and therefore the religion seemed polytheistic but, they are actually monotheistic. -end- I know it's all really mind blowing but I am really loving this class. 


I'm really glad that I am taking Poli Sci right now with the Republican primaries going on and what not. We get to discuss everything that we have questions about and it's cool that we are able to go more in-depth because that is what the class is all about. 


Then there is Health. I just really dislike taking a class that I basically have already taken not so long ago in high school. The only thing that is different is that they can show us actual pictures, like pictures of STI's(incase you didn't know they changed the disease part to infection, doesn't make it any better.)on peoples junk. NOT COOL. It's actually very, very disgusting.  


Last but certainly not least is Ethics & Values, better known as philosophy. Maybe it's because I'm not very deep but, I don't really care and it really hurts my head. Trying to figure out who is the most ethical in a story and whether we read with our eyes or our brains or what not. It is very interesting though, I'll admit it. 


That's school. From 9am-3pm with no break for food. NO BREAK?! Am I really that dumb? I'm trying to master the art of eating while walking during the break between classes but then that just poses for people to think, "wow is that girl really trying to eat while walking?" I can just feel the other's judgmental eyes. yuck. 


I ran into Jeff Boyd today! It was almost surreal. Part of my brain has been so set on them being on a mission that when I actually see these boys it's almost like they have come back from the dead. I'm glad to see that he is doing well! I also watched some sports center with Matt King. He served in the same mission as Michael. 


Mostly, I went and watched my dad play church ball tonight. Not my ideal friday night...actually scratch that, it was my ideal kind of night, only I wish that it consisted of more cute, single guys. 


I can start my papers next month. Is this real life? It really is blowing my mind that January is almost over. It is seriously crazy. 


Hopefully I can stay more up to date on keeping my personal record. I really want my kids to look back and see how awesome I was. :) Allison says I'm not as funny as I think I am. I think she is wrong. 


I'm freaking hilarious. 

howdy.

So, yeah. It's been a while. 


During the summer I went to the Dominican Republic. Probably one of the most precious memories I will ever have. The people we were with were so amazing. They are in such horrible circumstances and yet they are so happy. They were awesome. We worked in an orphanage and a hospital while we were there. I definitely won't take for granted the sterile gauze and beds that I would get if I were taken to the emergency room. 


School has started for the fall. I really, realllly love my classes this semester. I'm taking anthropology, doctrines of the revelation, history to 1500 bce, art history from the renaissance, and english. I love my anthropology class and I really wish that I could be one. However, teaching college really intimidates me. 


I figured out that on May 6th I can turn in my papers. It seems really far away but I am pretty sure it will come up fast. Especially because almost all of my guy friends will be home by then! That really blows my mind. I can't believe it's been 2 years already. I still feel like a little kid kinda. this growing up stuff is hard. 


Football has started which has made this school year a whole lot easier. BYU opened last week against Ole Miss. We started off a little shaky but were able to pull out a 14-13 win. Utah state almost beat Auburn. That was an insane game. Unfortunately for Utah State, they didn't handle an onside kick as well as they would have hoped and Auburn got the ball back on the 20 yd line. Auburn won by a touchdown. The last time that an unrated team upset the bcs champ was in 1990 when BYU upset the reigning bcs champ. Part of me really wanted Utah State to win. 


John Beck and Dennis Pita are starters for their pro teams. John Beck is starting QB for the Washington Redskins and Dennis Pita is starting TE for the Baltimore Ravins. I think it's pretty cool. 


Well I must be off. 


TTFN

it's friday friday...

gotta get down it's friday.

okay I had to do it.

life is good right now. I wish that it would stop raining so that I could possibly ride my bike but, I am going to wish for rain when the summer comes I'm sure. But the rain definitely is making it hard to get out of bed or, to be quite frank, do anything with a smile.

I worked today from 2-7. let's just say I didn't sit down from 2-7. I was going going going till sammie came at 6. life's busy when you work at a cupcake shop. (also we now sell cookies and cakes.)(super super yummy.)

my wonderful friend michelle just got her mission call to serve in HONG KONG, CHINA!!! seriously so excited for her! It is weird that now my girl friends are turning 21 because that means I'll be turning 21 soon and lets just say, I'm not ready for that. (but actually I would love love love love to serve a mission. just sayin.)

I'm super super SUPER excited for this coming june. I get to go to the Dominican Republic with my sister allie for a humanitarian trip. we are going to be digging wells and updating orphanages. my dad says that he can't wait for us to get a glimpse of the "real world." I know that it is going to be an eye opener for sure. my eyes have already widened as I heard that we would have no air conditioning in the hottest part of the year. and when I heard that the normal spider was the size of your hand. and when I heard that you need to check your sheets before you get in them in case of spiders, scorpions, or other creepy crawlers. yuck yuck. but after I freaked a little bit I realized that these people do it every day so I can do it for 2 weeks. I'm excited!!

So I have this ridiculously lucky friend named witney and she is on a study-abroad in Italy right now. It seriously sounds like a dream come true to me. she isn't only living in one of the most beautiful countries in all of the world but she is learning all of this history!! it has seriously made me consider being an art history major. she also got to see snookie. how freaking awesome is that?

remember how I kept referring to my friend who was going through a hard time? it's okay if you don't. but, he is finally in Brazil! Yay! it took a while but he finally got his visa through. he has been really busy! well that is what he has been telling me, hopefully he isn't just saying that so he doesn't have to write me. kidding. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do that. But he seems to be doing great.

It is so crazy that all of my friends have been gone a year. well you get the point. and that some of them are almost done! it is seriously crazy that 2 years have gone by. I seriously still feel like I need to wake up at 6 to go to drill in the mornings. and I will attest that I am a super super senior. yes. I go to the football, basketball, and baseball games at springville high school. but I like to use the excuse of, but I like sports, to get me through. and personally, I don't see me cheering for any other team than the mighty red devils. (or the byu cougars.) *except for once when brady quinn played for notre dame. anywho, I can't believe that it has already been 2 years. life's moving by fast! it has definitely changed dramatically since graduation 2009.

also, did anyone else cry when rachel sang my man from funny girl about finn? I love finchel. so so much. (possibly because I think of myself as rachel and finn as well, finn.) okay i loved it. and I love funny girl. great movie. with a slightly terrible ending.

much love. ashley.

on my mind.

I hate that everything is so up in the air right now. Nothing is set in stone and that really makes me nervous. I want this phase of my life to be over so bad. I want to be in my career. I want to be out of this awkward dating phase and into a real relationship.

I guess the main things I hate right now are, school, being alone with myself, and having to make HUGE choices that will determine my happiness for the rest of my earthly life!

It makes me have serious anxiety.

I think the main reason I am sick of school right now is because, well mainly it's my math class. I have come to find this semester that I really, really, truly hate mathematics. I find it confusing, boring, and not useful for any student who is going to be teaching history for heavens sake. And the fact that I have to look at couples all cuddly in the halls and holding hand and all the girl's pretty wedding rings. I basically want to chuck my math book at their heads.

I hate being alone. I just remember in high school if I had to walk anywhere in the school I wanted someone to be with me. When I graduated I thought that everything would be the same, that I would see my friends everyday and that we wouldn't need to grow up for a while. Little did I know that wasn't the plan. As my friends started college we started to drift away. As we all got jobs we drifted further away and life went from seeing each other every day to trying to squeeze in lunch dates. Even in my third semester of college walking alone through the campus and hardly knowing anyone makes me so uncomfortable. Life didn't get any easier when my best friend got a boyfriend and I went from seeing her twice a week to not seeing her for weeks. The hardest part was hearing about all the fun she was having with her boyfriend while I was sitting at my house hanging out with my dad on a Saturday night.

I have definitely grown from being able to just focus on me and what I want and need in life. But it is absolutely one of the hardest things I've been through in my life.

Then there is the choices thing. I feel like I am pretty good at making decisions in life. I will pick a chick flick over a thriller any day. Chocolate or vanilla? Twist please. Even with my major picking History Education was pretty easy. It's just, the whole not set in stone thing. I want to know that it was the right decision to make. I want to see the finished picture and know that it was a masterpiece.

I'm definitely learning that putting all of my trust in Heavenly Father's hands is hard for me to do.

Recently I was talking to a friend about his situation in life. He wasn't where he was supposed to be and he was angry and confused why something like this would happen. He just wanted everything to be how it normally would be. As I reflected his situation the scripture D & C 122:7-9 came to mind. I just said to him, Heavenly Father knows what's best for us. He knows what we need to go through in life to become the best we can be. To become like him. As I said those words, I felt a pit in my stomach. I needed to take the advice I was giving him and give it to myself. It was at that moment I knew that Heavenly Father was aware of my situation and was just waiting for me to figure it out.

So, I'm not sure where I'm going with this now.

I just know that Heavenly Father knows each of us so well. What makes us happy, and ticked. Sad and calm. He can help out with anything. And that gives me such comfort.

Okay that was the shipell about what has been on my mind lately. I had to get it out.

"In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream it's like a million little stars spelling out your name. You gotta come on, come on say that we'll be together. Come on, come on little taste of Heaven." -Possibly my favorite tswift song right now. :]

Recently I've been listening to a lot of taylor swift.

As I'm going through my days I've found that tswift has written a song just about everything that I am feeling at that moment.

Every word that comes out of her mouth I couldn't have said more perfectly.

love, ashley.

howdy ya'll

recently, if you can't tell, my life as kinda turned upside-down.

i receive these quotes from here and the other day i got one that really helped me out.

"We will each face times of difficulty, and the question is not when we will face them but how we will face them."

James B. Martino

it seriously opened my eyes to the kind of reaction that i was choosing to have about the trials i am facing. i have also had an amazing institute class this semester that has really helped me.

right now we are talking about how life is a testing center for all of us and what the rules are for the testing center. i will tell you more about it when we actually finish the subject we are on but i'm telling ya.. it's good.

also, my wonderful aunt lezlee, i really feel like i shouldn't be calling her my aunt, but more of a friend, is visiting from kansas and we have had a really fun time trying to find houses and having lunch together. i cannot wait till they are here permanently.

i'm thinking you all should read this talk. because i mean, we are all going to face trials. might as well have a good attitude now. :)

okay i'm off to do homework. yaaaay.

much love-smash.

new.

why hello there.

yes it is me. ashley.

unfortunately, i am not good at blogging. at all. it is so sad.

so, here i am just a few months after my last post.

a lot has happened in my life.

luckily no one reads my blog so i can talk about it.

Let me put it bluntly, i have NO friends.

last august i lost my best friend. no not to a car accident or anything like that, but to a boy. i seriously have hung out with my best friend probably 4 time

s in the last 6 months. and just last week she got engaged. i am SOO happy for her. but i am just sad that we aren't "best friends" anymore. and then to put the icing on the cake, my one other friend here, just moved home to Oregon. OREGON! to get married!! what is with all of my friends getting married? all 3 of my best friends are now married or almost married.

ashley no likey.

everyone is like focus on school, get school o

ver with. and obvious

ly i know that, that is something i am focusing on but, i am a social butterfly and i have relied on my friends for so long and now that they are gone, i feel broken.

thank goodness for mary engelbriet and her art and the words of the prophets or i wouldn't be able to handle life right now.

enlightenment here.

but wanna here something crazy? so this evening, after dinner we looked outside only see a bunch of cop cars and fire trucks. we went outside and our lungs filled with smoke. someone, or something lit our neighbors big industrial size dumpster on fire. there were fire trucks and police cars everywhere. and the funnest thing was that they had to walk all the way down the street to find a fire hydrant. that scared me a bit. pictures to follow.

must.change.attidute.

words to live by :]

today.

today i became aware of what needs to happen in my life.

i have received answers to questions that only He could answer.

it is truly amazing and completely reassuring that Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need and how we need to receive it. i am so amazingly blessed and so thankful. my heart is full and i am completely at peace.

today started off as normal as it could. i woke up and resisted the urge to get a drink from the cup on my nightstand. i remembered it was fast sunday. every other fast sunday i had felt something but i had no idea that today would be so different from all the rest. it started in testimony meeting. the testimonies kept knocking harder and harder at my door and i could not stop the water works from starting. my favorite bishop burr brought me to tears. he is such an amazing man. someone who has the most amiable qualities that i so want in a husband. then brandon johnson bore his testimony with such confidence. he also has the most amiable qualities. i want him as my husband. :) hahahaha okay let's be realistic here..

then off to sunday school where the most amazing woman, brenda burr, taught us about the amazing Elisha. then relief society, personally, in my singles ward, i am not to thrilled to go to r.s. for some reason. in my home ward everyone comes up and asks me what i am doing in my life and i definitely feel loved/wanted. ha. well i was talking to laurie and my mom about how i had no drive to go to school and no idea what i wanted to do with my life. everything was up in the air for me and i felt i just couldn't grasp any of it. laurie was persistent that i must go to school and get an education. i knew that i must but i didn't want to. then sister claire taylor got up to start the lesson. it was on education. my jaw basically dropped when she said that, that was going to be the topic of the lesson. she started by telling us about an amazing talk that president henry b. eyring gave in the new era.

as the words poured from her mouth i could feel my spirit testifying that they were true. i could feel them knocking at my door harder and harder until i could not take it any more. i was weeping. uncontrollably weeping. such great joy had entered my soul and my prayers had been answered. i knew exactly what the Lord wanted me to do with my future. it was such an amazing feeling. besides the fact that i was still crying thirty minutes after i got home from church.

i knew.

i had never in my whole life felt the feelings i had felt this fast sunday. i now have a testimony that fasting and prayer works. that Heavenly Father answers prayers and that he knows exactly what is going on in everyones lives.

my cup runneth over.